Some jokes expire faster than milk, but puns? Puns age like a fine cheese getting sharper (and stinkier) with time. Whether you love them or roll your eyes so hard they do a full 360, you can’t deny their staying power.

From dad jokes passed down like family heirlooms to wordplay that even Shakespeare would high-five, here’s a collection of 140+ classic puns that never get old that will keep you chuckling, groaning, and maybe questioning why you clicked on this article.

Brace yourself. It’s pun o’clock.

The OG Dad Jokes 👨‍🦳😂

If you’ve ever groaned at a joke while secretly admiring its genius, you’ve probably encountered a dad joke. Classic, timeless, and absolutely unavoidable.

• I told my suitcase there’d be no vacation. Now it’s packed with emotions.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.

• I’d avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy.
• I gave my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
• If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Food Puns That Are Absolutely Egg-cellent 🍔🤣

Food puns are always a pizza the fun. They’re sweet, they’re salty, and sometimes they’re downright cheesy.

• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I told my coffee a joke. It got a latte laughs.
• I don’t carrot all if you don’t like these puns.
• I asked the waiter for the special, but he said it was on a roll.
• Lettuce taco ‘bout how great food puns are.
• You butter believe I’m spreading these jokes everywhere.
• Olive you so much, it’s un-brie-lievable.
• This meal is a piece of cake literally.
• Don’t go bacon my heart.
• The baker stopped making donuts. He got tired of the hole thing.
• You can’t trust people who love sushi. They’re a little fishy.
• My eggs were telling jokes at breakfast. They were cracking me up.
• Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
• The olive branch extended, but it was still salty.

Craving more? These one-liner puns will keep your appetite for laughter satisfied!

Animal Puns That Are Paws-itively Hilarious 🐶😹

Animals never asked to be part of our jokes, but here we are.

• I’m fur-ever grateful for my dog.
• Cat got your tongue? Or did you just paws for effect?
• This elephant pun is irrelephant, but I’ll say it anyway.
• A bear walked into a bar. It was un-bear-able.
• When ducks tell jokes, they always quack up.
• I otter be doing something more productive, but here I am.
• Koalas are great at puns they always bear with you.
• Cows have udderly fantastic senses of humor.
• That horse pun was so bad, it was neigh-larious.
• Owls always throw a hoot of a party.
• I tried to make a joke about rabbits, but it just hopped away.
• Sheep don’t like being sheared. It’s shear madness.
• Fish make terrible secret agents. They always get caught.
• I’d tell you a pig pun, but they’re a boar.
• That dog joke was ruff.

Love absurd humor? You’ll go wild for these silly and absurd puns.

Work & Office Puns That Deserve a Raise 💼😂

If you’ve ever suffered through a workplace meeting, these will hit too close to home.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my boss three companies were after me… So he fired me to increase demand.
• The stapler and the tape dispenser had an office romance… It was bound to happen.
• I took a job at the bakery because I kneaded dough.
• A broken pencil is pointless, just like my Monday meetings.
• The lightbulb got fired. It wasn’t very bright.
• Coworkers who tell bad jokes should be put on pun-ishment.
• I told my manager I was sick. He said, ‘At being on time?’
• I used to be a mathematician. Now I just count on my fingers.

For more brilliant wordplay, check out these puns that work for every situation.

Timeless Animal Puns 🐶🐱

• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
• I went to a seafood party. I was the sole survivor.
• The dog loves classical music. He’s a real Bach barker.
• The cow started a band. They’re called The Moo-dy Blues.
• I told my cat a joke. It was hiss-terical!
• The owl didn’t understand the joke. It just said, ‘Who?’
• My horse loves puns. He always neigh-ver gets tired of them.
• The frog became a motivational speaker. He told everyone to ‘ribbit’ up!
• The duck detective quacked the case wide open.
• A snake started a tech company. He called it ‘Python.’
• That pig’s joke was boar-ing.
• The lion became an actor. He was always in the mane role.
• The fish’s stand-up career sank. He couldn’t find his stream.
  Need more laughs? Check out these silly and absurd puns.

Classic Food Puns That Are Always Delicious 🍕🍔

• I relish the fact that I’ve mustard the courage to ketchup.
• The pasta chef got locked out. He forgot his gnocchi.
• The bread loaf won the talent show. It really rose to the occasion.
• The apple didn’t fall far from the tree… but it rolled away.
• The sushi chef was great. He was on a roll.
• The butter got in trouble. It was on a slippery slope.
• The tomato blushed. It saw the salad dressing.
• The cheese factory exploded. There was nothing but de-brie.
• The baker went broke. He kneaded the dough.
• The taco didn’t share its feelings. It was too shellfish.
• I donut understand how people live without puns.
• The banana slipped on its own joke.
• The grape let out a little whine.
  Want more bite-sized laughs? Check out these one-liner puns.

Old-School Dad Jokes That Still Work 👨‍🦰😂

• Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
• My clock is getting old. It just second-guesses everything.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
• I used to be a musician, but I didn’t make enough notes.
• The calendar factory closed. They ran out of days.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
• I opened a bakery. Business is crumbling.
• I had a pun about time, but I lost track.
  Want to learn how to craft the perfect pun? Check out how to write your own funny puns.

Timeless Love Puns 💘💌

• I met my soulmate at a bakery. We just kneaded each other.
• You stole my heart… but I won’t press charges.
• I’m falling for you, and there’s no parachute.
• We go together like peanut butter and jelly.
• You’re the key to my heart. My password is ‘iloveyou.’
• Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
• I was going to tell a love joke… but I didn’t have the heart.
• Let’s taco ‘bout how great we are together.
• Our relationship is a lot like WiFi strong signal, no interruptions.
• You must be made of copper and tellurium because you’re Cu-Te.
• Love at first sight? More like love at first pun.
  Need a perfect comeback? Try these puns that work as comebacks.

Classic Work & Office Puns 💼📊

• The stapler was always attached to its work.
• I got a job at a bakery. I knead the dough.
• The calendar business is tough. It’s all about the dates.
• The printer and I aren’t on the same page.
• The boss said I need more drive. I brought a USB.
• The pen got promoted. It was on point.

• I tried to catch up on work… but I’m still behind.
• My co-worker is like a broken pencil pointless.
• The meeting on productivity was… unproductive.
• I gave my boss a free calendar. It was about time.
• I used to work as a banker… I lost interest.
• My job at the clock factory didn’t last. I kept making faces.
• I tried to catch some fog at work, but I mist.
• The copier quit its job. It was tired of being papered over.
• Meetings are like naps. Nobody remembers what happened, but you feel worse after.
  Need more office laughs? Check out these puns that work for every situation.

These classic puns never get old, just like a fine wine or an ancient cheese. Which one’s your favorite? Drop it in the comments.🚀

Final Words on Classic Puns That Never Get Old 😂

Classic puns are like old friends reliable, predictable, and slightly annoying if you hear them too often. But no matter how many times they make us groan, we keep coming back for more.

Which of these puns cracked you up? Which one made you reconsider your life choices? Drop your favorite in the comments and send this list to your pun-loving (or pun-hating) friend. Let’s keep the tradition alive.